Can i get a divorce after being separated for ten years?

There"s a lot at stake if you are divorcing after 10 years of marriage, & there"s very little guidance on how things should be divided và decided.

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Involving lawyers in your negotiations will only make things worse và cost you more time & money.Here"s why things get complicated in a 10 year marriage divorce and what you can vì to put the needs of your children first và divorce peacefully and fairly.

You"ve reached the milestone of being married 10 years. So you figured you already got past the hardest parts in a marriage.

Things like:

Your first year of marriage negotiating the "right way" to lớn load the dishwasher and whether or not lớn put the nhà vệ sinh seat down;The 7-year itch;And raising your kids through the terrible 2"s.

But regardless of any of those things, something still changed, & here you are getting a divorce after 10 years of marriage.

And after a decade together, there"s so much at stake.

Because youbothhavea lotto lớn thua kém, you"ll need to choose your divorce method carefully.

So what can you bởi vì when after a 10 year marriage, divorce is inevitable? And you don"t want your divorce proceedings to lớn take forever, cost a fortune or destroy your family in the process?

You usedivorce mediation!

4 Reasons Divorce After 10 Years is Such a Critical Milestone:

Before we look at why mediation is the best option for couples divorcing after 10 years, it"s important lớn first talk about why if you"ve been married 10 years, divorce is especially challenging.

Only then will you understand:

What"s at stake;Why things get complicated;And why mediation is your best bet.

1. In a Divorce After 10 Years, You"ve Likely Co-Mingled Your Assets & Liabilities

In adivorce after short marriagesituation, couples probably haven"t yet co-mingled their assets or liabilities.

They still have separate property and debts such as checking accounts, credit cards, cars. And statements from their pension or 401(k) frombeforethey got married.

The trust may not be quite there yet to take such a bold step and co-mingle finances. Which makes figuring out who gets what less complicated when they divorce.

But after being married 10 years, divorce is more difficult because you"ve sầu already co-mingled many or all of your assets và liabilities.

At the 10-year mark, you most likely have joint marital property:

Joint checking accounts;Joint credit cards which contain marital debts and purchases from your 10 years of living together;Purchased a house & used funds from your separate accounts lớn make this joint purchase;

And you"re well on your way towards accumulating enough money in your retirement accounts for your golden years.

You"ve joined your lives together financially.

Which will make separating your assets and liabilities all the more complex.

2. In a Divorce After 10 Years, One of You May WorkInsidethe trang chủ While One of You WorksOutsideof It

If you"re lượt thích many couples, you were married a few years before you decided khổng lồ have sầu children and exp& your family.

And you may have made the decision for one of you tostay at trang chủ with the kids.

So when seeking a divorce after 10 years, if that"s the case & one of you is trang chủ with the kids, you"ve sầu probably been out of the workforce just long enough that jumping right back in and earning what you used to earn may be difficult if not impossible.

Even if you & your spouseareboth working outside the trang chính, you probably rely on each other quite a bit for your daily routine.

Because your kids are in the phase where school, homework, after-school activities, sports, religious education & being invited to lớn friends" birthday parties are in full swing.

So you và your spouse are a taxi service, constantly having to shuttle them from place-to-place.

For couples married 10 years, divorce is disruptive sầu to lớn your "normal" routine. And messing with that now, especially while your kids are young, can be quite a challenge.

3. How Alimony is Determined Can Change at The 10 Year Mark

The duration of your marriage will also often determine the length of alimony (spousal tư vấn / maintenance / spousal maintenance).

And in some states, divorce after 10 years represents an important milestone when it comes lớn alimony.

Some states consider a divorce before 10 years of marriage "shorter term." So the duration of spousal tư vấn isn"t as long as it would be for a couple in married 10 years or more.

To be clear:

I"mnotsuggesting you should stay stuck in an unhappy marriage just so you can get to lớn 10 years on the chance it will increase the duration of your spousal support.

I am simply stating thathowalimony is determined can change at the 10 year mark. And because there are few formulas and little guidance on how lớn determine alimony, things can get quite complicated & contentious if you"re not careful.

A Word About Divorce After 10 Years in California

There"s a comtháng misconception that if a California couple gets divorced after 10 years, the marriage is considered khổng lồ be long-term, và that alimony will last forever.

This is not necessarily the case.

While the above statement ispartiallycorrect as some states consider a marriage of 10 years or more a long-term marriage, divorce after 10 years in California doesnotmean an ex-spouse willautomaticallyreceive sầu permanent spousal tư vấn.

Duration is something that is negotiated in a California divorce case. And can vary greatly, depending on your chất lượng situation.

4. Your Social Security Benefits May be Impacted When Divorcing After 10 Years

Rarely does getting a divorce involve sầu good news. But when it comes to Social Security, divorce after 10 years is an exception.

You see, if you and you spouse were married for 10 years or more, you may eligible khổng lồ receive sầu Social Security based on your ex-spouse"s earnings. And receive greater benefits than if you were khổng lồ collect on your own.

In order to eligible for this increased benefit, you need to meet the following criteria:

You are unmarried at the time you go to collectYou are of eligible age (i.e. age 62 or older)Your ex-spouse is eligible for Social Security benefits; andThe benefit you would receive, based on your own earnings history, would be less than the benefit you would receive, if it were based on your ex-spouse"s earnings.

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So what happens if you"re the "ex-spouse" in this example?

Does your benefit go down if your former spouse starts collecting Social Security based onyourearnings history?

Absolutely not.

There is no impact whatsoever to the amount you, as the higher earning ex-spouse, would collect from the Social Security Administration.

And your marital status doesn"t matter, either. You can be re-married, divorced, or widowed, & your ex-spouse can still collect off of your earnings, with no impact to lớn you (or your current spouse).

Caution: Using Lawyers When Divorcing After 10 Years Can Be a Recipe for Disaster for a Couple

So far you"ve sầu learned 4 issues that can complicate things when divorcing after 10 years of marriage.

And since these are complex topics, your first inclination may be to hire a divorce attorney.

Which isnota good idea.

Here"s why...

When Dividing Your Assets và Liabilities:

Now that you"re facing divorce, you"ll have to figure out "who gets what." And how that all happens depends on where you live.

For example, some states use the principles of equitable distribution, while others use the principles of community property instead.

But here"s the thing...

Whether you live in anequitable distributionstate or acommunity propertystate, you and your divorcing spouse still have quite a bit of freedom lớn determine how you split your marital assets and debts.

There aren"t really any formulas or guidelines on how things should be divided between a couple. It just needs lớn befair.

But when it comes to lớn divorce, what doesfaireven mean?


Unfortunately, no one is exactly clear on that important detail.

So basically, you"ve sầu got no formulas on how khổng lồ divide your assets & liabilities, & no clear definition of fair.

Now throw family law attorneys inlớn the mix and you"ve sầu got a real recipe for disaster on your hands.

They"re going khổng lồ need to lớn justify their exorbitant fees. And what better way to lớn vày that than by:

Digging in;Fighting endlessly;And showing you how muchmorethey got you?

But what some people don"t realize until it"s too late, is that the extra $5,000 in retirement funds their lawyer spent 6 months getting them, wound up costing $10,000 in attorney fees.

Not such a good khuyến mãi anymore, is it?

When Determining Your Roles as Co-Parents:

Again, a divorce lawyer"s job is lớn advocate or fight for theironeclient.

Which might be all well and good if a box falls on your head at a major home-improvement chain và you need your medical bills paid for.

But not good when it comes to determining the role each of you will play in your children"s future.

Do you want your attorney fighting for you khổng lồ get a majority of the parenting time? While your spouse is left tomaybeone night during the week and every other weekend?

Is that truly what"s best for your kids? To only see their mom or dad 14% lớn 28% of the time?

Of course not!

It"s in their best interests lớn seebothof their parents as much as possible. And you know it!

You don"t need two lawyers fighting it out in divorce court lớn create your parenting plan or time sharing arrangement. It will only destroy your children.

When Determining Alimony:

As previously mentioned, there are very few states in the US that have sầu an alimony guideline. Making alimony difficult to lớn determine even under the best of conditions.

Now take this highly charged topic, throw a few bulldogs inlớn the ring along with a complete laông xã of guidance and you"ve got a never-ending family court battle over alimony that will last years.

And wind up costing you more in legal bills than you would ever have paid or received in alimony.

This is not something you or your spouse ever want khổng lồ consider. No matter how upmix you may be with each other.

Married 10 Years? Divorce Mediation is Your Best Solution.

If you"ve made the decision to lớn divorce after 10 years of marriage, you"ll get the best outcome when you mediate your no-fault divorce with the help of theexpert mediation teamat Equitable Mediation.


Divorce after 10 years of marriage is unique as the 10-year mark is an important milestone when it comes lớn a marriage;There is very little guidance on how things should be divided và decided;Involving lawyers will only make things worse & cost you more time & money.

Divorce mediation enables you to lớn control the terms of your agreement, put the needs of your children first, và peacefully & fairlydivorce without lawyers.

Now you knowexactlywhy mediation is your best bet for divorce after being married a decade.

Don"t Let Your Divorce Become a Disaster!

Mediate with us instead.


If you want a high unique mediation that is peaceful, cost-effective sầu và results in a fair and thorough agreement while receiving personalized divorce tư vấn from a compassionate team of professionals, choose Equitable Mediation.

If you or your spouse lives in New Jersey, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Thành Phố New York, California, Washington State, or Michigan, learn more aboutthe benefits of working with us.

Then, when you are ready lớn start the divorce process, take the next step và book an initial meeting for the two of you!

Book an Initial Meeting

Early in the divorce process?

The choices you makebeforeyou start your divorce are critical.


Regardless of how many years you"ve sầu been married, whether you"re the one who wants the divorce, your spouse does or you"re both on the same page, the choices you makebeforeyou start your divorce will likely phối the tone for how the entire process will unfold for you & your children.

And how peaceful, fair, child-focused and cost-effective sầu your divorce will (or won"t) be.

But you can only make smart choices if you take the time to get educated và prepare for divorcefirst.

That"s exactly why we created a downloadable kit for smart people like you - to help you bởi vì just that!